Extra Stout:
01 Dicey Reilly_All For Me Grog_Blackberry Blossom
02 Reasons Why
03 Finnegan’s Wake
04 Whiskey In The Jar
05 Porcupine
06 Wastin’ Time
07 Wild Rover

Final Trax (Unreleased):
01 Indian Earholes Are Smaller (IEHAS)
02 Whiskey Watered Down
03 MacClarty
04 Waxie Dargle
05 The Train
06 Indian Earholes Are Smaller (IEHAS) (alt. lyrics)

Rough Draught: Live AT The Chehalis Matrix:
Quite possibly the weirdest of our live performances! We drove for hours to play to three people, a soundman, and a bartender. Gavin can barely keep from laughing, I inexplicably play a million different styles in Whiskey In The Jar, Matt explores new sonic avenues on slide whistle, and yet, it is undeniably entertaining.
01 Mac MacClarty
02 Medley
03 Tell Me Ma
04 Reasons Why
05 Waxies Dargle
06 Maggie
07 Jimmie And Johnnie
08 Whiskey In The Jar
09 Waistin’ Time
10 Sometimes
11 Porcupine
12 Clever Thing
13 Arms Of My Friends
14 Finnegan’s Wake
15 Wild Rover

Here’s what we covered:

In The Hall Of The Mountain King by Edvard Grieg

She goes bananas for this song. Hopefully, I’ll get some video going of her eating while listening to this.

Paul Barton:

Deutsches Filmorchester Babelsberg:

Lego Orchestra:

Capital City Brass Band:

Georgia Southern University’s Tuba/Euphonium Quartet:

Flight Of The Bumblebee by Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov

This ia real toe tapper for Ruby.

Ithzak Perlman:

Wynton Masalis:

Canadian Brass:

Donna Lee by Miles Davis or Charlie Bird Parker or someone else

This excited then confused then upset her. Her mom is pretty excited that Ruby may not like jazz.
I’m going to make it happen. Maybe start with something slower

Charlie Parker (1947)

Clifford Brown (in Philadelphia):

Jaco Pastorius:

• Above The Line: Expenditures/costs negotiated/spent before
  filming begins, including source material rights (for adaptations) and salaries
  for director, producer screenwriter, and actors.
• Act: See Syd Field, Blake Snyder.  Every feature film
  script is split into Three Acts – Act I, Act II, Act III.  Each act contains
  the major plot points and scenes that make up the script.
• Action: Movement in scene that pushes the story forward.
  What’s happening on screen.
• AD (Assistant Director): Usually the person shouting on
  set.
• Adapt/Adaptation: When you write a screenplay based on pre-existing
  source material (Includes short stories, plays, articles, novels, comics/graphic
  novels, video games, etc.).
• Against (as in $100,000 against $500,000): You get $100,000
  up front and another $400,000 if the film gets made, totaling $500,000.
• Agency: Can refer to either a talent or literary agency.
  The negotiate deals. Can be very small (boutique) to very large (CAA, ICM,
  WMA, UTA).
• Agent: For screenwriters, an agent is a literary agent who
  represents writers and their written works to film producers and "talent."
  They rep/negotiate you on deals, sales, etc. They are usu. paid 10% of the
  sales they negotiate.
• "&" vs. "and" (on the title page): If
  you’ve co-written a script, this is an important distinction on the title page. If John
  Smith & Jane Doe appears on the title page, it means the writers wrote it
  together. If John Smith and Jane Doe appears on the title page, it means John
  Smith wrote the original script and Jane Doe was brought on to do a rewrite
  or polish or something. They did not collaborate.
• Antagonist: The Villain. Can be a person, society, nature,
  etc. Usually should be manifest by a person or group to fight against.
• Arbitration: When there is a dispute regarding credits or
  pay, the WGA steps in and arbitrates.  Not fun.
• Assignment: Writing for hire.
• Attached (or Attachment): Commitment by talent (actor) to
  being in your film. Crucial to getting films made.
• At The End Of The Day: When all is said and done.
• Baby Writer: Writer who is new to the industry. Usu. not a pejorative term.
• Background (or b.g.): Action or characters going on behind
  the main action.
• Backstory: Your characters’ background/history. Often not
  seen in the film.  Happened before the film started.
• Bake-offs When studios call a bunch of writers
  for a rewrite job, each writer pitching their own take on the material, for
  free.
• Beat: A plot point.
• Beat Sheet: A list of all the scenes in the movie in the
  order they appear.
• Below The Line: Expenditures/costs associated with physically
  making the picture.
• Bible (TV Show Bible): When creating an original TV series,
  this document contains all the information related to the show: concept, setting,
  characters, their bios, and their interactions with one another, and sample
  episodes in logline plus one paragraph synopsis format.
• Bidding War: Happens when your script is hot and
  more than one company is interested in your script, and they decide to do battle
  by offering more $ than the competitor. It’s a good thing for
  you
• Bookends: Scene at the (1) beginning of the movie, defining
  the setting and plot and (2) at the end of the movie, wrapping everything
  up.
• Bow:   Opening or premiere of a movie or production.
• B-Story: Major subplot. Usually
  carries the theme, the subconscious goal, the secondary characters, and/or
  the love story. The release valve from the A-story. There are also C, D, and
  E stories or subplots.
• Brads: Used to bind your screenplays. Use two (ACCO-Brand),
  No. 5 round-headed solid brass fasteners/brads, which are 1 1/4 inches in length.
  Place brads in the first and third holes, leaving the center hole empty. This
  makes it easy to take apart for copying.
• Bump: Element in a script that takes the reader out
  of the story. A plot hole.
• Button: A joke, line, or action that completes the end of
  a scene in style.
• CAA: Creative Artists Agency. Most powerful talent and literary
  agency in Hollywood. They rep Tom Cruise, Julia Roberts, George Clooney, Reese
  Witherspoon, Nicolas Cage, Cameron Diaz, Nicole Kidman, Bruce Willis, etc.
• Card Stock: Type of paper you should use for your title
  page. No colors, please.
• Cave (as in the Cave Scene): Midpoint. See Campbell and
  Vogler.
• Character: Humans, animals, aliens, etc. in your movie.
• Character Arc (or Arc): The path of your character’s transformation
  across the entire movie.
• Climax: The highest point of the drama in the script. Happens
  in Act III, right before the resolution.
• Clunky: AKA wonky. Usu. refers to awkward dialogue.
• Complication: An obstacle.
• CG: AKA CGI. Means computer graphics. Usually refers to
  the effects and art in your movie that will need to be generated by computers.
• Conflict: When characters’ goals oppose one another, society,
  the elements, etc. CONFLICT IS STORY.
• Coverage: Story analysis that readers write and submit to
  their bosses. Includes a logline, synopsis, comments, and a pass/consider/recommend
  rating.
• Craft Services: On set catering. 
• Creative Exec: A development executive at a production company.
• Credit: What we’re all shooting for when the credits roll
  or on the poster.
• Crisis: Hero faces deepest fears to overcome the antagonist
  and innermost fears.
• Deal Memo: Written follow-up to a verbal agreement. Usu.
  a done deal.
• Description: The more novelistic portion of the script. Describing
  what’s going on and how it looks.
• Deus Ex Machina: Latin for "God from a machine." A
  bad quick fix. A contrived
  solution to a problem in the movie, which challenges our suspension of disbelief
  and appears to have come out of nowhere. A bad quick fix. 
• Development: Process of script revisions with the prodco
  or studio.
• Development Hell: When above goes badly and everyone is
  fighting.
• D-Girl or D-Boy: Development Girl or Boy. Usually means
  Development Executive. Can be derogatory, but people still use it in a neutral
  fashion.
• Dialogue: What the characters say.
• Dilemma: Problem for your hero.  A choice between two
  seemingly terrible choices.
• Dramatic Action: What compels your protagonist to keep moving
  forward. What keeps the story moving forward and how your protagonist tries
  to solve the problem.
• Earn/Earned: When your characters work hard to overcome
  obstacles and progress on their journey. They’re earning it.
• Endeavor: Agency that reps Dustin Hoffman, Adam Sandler, Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, Jennifer Garner, Keira Knightley, Tina Fey, and many more.
• Elevator (as in Elevator Pitch): When you pitch your script/movie
  to someone in about 30 seconds. It can be done. 
• Entertainment Attorney: These types of attorneys can actually
  represent you to a production company, talent, director, or studio. They are
  not bound by the WGA and can charge you whatever they want.  They differ
  from regular (contract) attorneys, who have no connections or clout in "the
  biz." If you are unrepped, this is one way to get around the whole unsolicited
  submissions thing.
• Entrance (Character Entrance): The first time we see your
  character in the script.
• Exhibitor: Movie theater (individual or chain).
• Exposition/Expositional: Background information of your
  story and characters.  Expositional is often a negative note, meaning
  you’re telling me, not showing me. It is a necessary evil so the audience/reader
  knows what’s going on. Not to be overused. See Subtext for help.
• False Victory / False Defeat:
• Fast Track: Script is ready to go into production right
  away, without extensive notes and changes.
• Feature Film: A movie that will be released theatrically.
  Anywhere from 80 minutes to 4 hours.
• Final Draft: Screenwriting Software AND the last draft of your screenplay. Denotes completion. Of course, you’re never done, right?
• First Look Deal: When a production company has to take all
  their projects to a particular studio.  Often these prodcos are on the
  lot at said studio.
• Flack or Flak: A publicist or publicity agent.
• Flashback: In script when we cut back to a scene in the
  past. Often stuff that happened before the movie. Sometimes flashbacks happen
  to points earlier in the film.
• For A Price: A movie can be made within a reasonable budget for a particular
  production company or studio.
• For Hire: Like writing on assignment. A one-off assignment
  where you write a script for a flat fee.
• Formatting: The unsatisfying task of making sure your screenplay
  looks right–margins, fonts, paper, brads, spacing, etc. See Compendium
  Guidelines for more.
• The 405: Interstate 405. Main north-south
  highway in SoCal. (In LA, people put "the" in front of highways and interstates.)
  It’s the major bypass of Interstate 5 running through the Greater Los Angeles
  Area. The entire 405 is the northern segment of the San Diego Freeway, despite
  running no less than 75 miles from downtown San Diego. It’s always a parking
  lot.
• Four Quadrant: The 4Q. Your movie has the broadest audience appeal.
  1. men under 25 yrs. old, 2. men over 25 yrs. old, 3. women under
  25 yrs. old, 4. women over 25 yrs. old. The ages may change slightly, but it
  means young, old, male, and female will go see your movie.
• Fourth Wall (as in "Breaking the Fourth Wall"): A
  stage play term. The invisible wall between the audience and the actors. The
  suspension of disbelief. If broken, means that the character is showing his/her
  awareness of the audience. Once done, it is very hard to get the audience
  back.  But, can be used creatively and effectively. 
• Gap: Distance between the expected
  and actual result between characters in a scene. What the characters want,
  what they get, and how they react. Very cool.
• Genre: (1) The category/type of film or
  script. Examples: Action/Adventure, Biographical (bio-pic), Character
  Drama, Comedy, Cutting Edge Independent (i.e. Memento, Secretary), Drama, Epic
  Drama, Family Animation (i.e. Pixar), Family Live Action (i.e. Disney), Fantasy,
  Horror, TV (Comedy), TV (Drama), TV (Drama/Comedy i.e. HBO, Showtime, USA,
  etc), Musical, Period, Religious/Spiritual, Romantic Comedy, Science Fiction,
  Thriller/Crime Drama, War, and Western. (2) People often
  refer to "genre pictures" as horror, sci-fi, fantasy, western, etc. Often
  means smaller audience.  A curious designation, since every film can fit
  into a particular category or genre.
• Gersh (or TGA): The
  Gersh Agency. Reps Tobey Maguire, Hayden Christensen, Kevin Nealon, Drew Carey
  and Dave Chappelle, and many more.
• Greenlight: Studio is ready to make your film.
• The Grove: 189
  The Grove Drive Los Angeles, CA 90036. Shopping Mall where many celebrities
  go. Great movie theatre and people watching.
• Hack: A shitty writer.  Writes garbage. You know, writers
  before we’ve had our coffee.
• Helm / Helmer: To direct / director.
• Hero: Your protagonist. The person who we follow on the
  journey. We are them!
• Heat: Interest in your script and/or you.
• High Concept: A concept that can be articulated in one
  sentence, easily marketable, and widely appealing. Ex. Four Year Old Virgin,
  Wedding Crashers, Star Wars, Jaws, Alien, Home Alone, Bourne Identity.
• Hip Pocket Deal: You are repped by an agency, but they haven’t
  signed you.
• Hook: What makes your idea pull us in (hook)? What makes
  it unique, special, unexpected, ironic? If you have a bad logline, people will
  ask, "What’s
  the hook?"
• ICM: International Creative Management. Big agency.
• Inciting Incident: (aka Catalyst) The one thing that happens
  to your hero that forces them to take action and go on the journey. This is
  crucial.
• Indie: Refers to Independent films or prodcos. Often
  mistaken for being outside Hollywood, but function the same way as a studio,
  just with a smaller budget.
• Industry: The biz. Hollywood.
• Ink: To sign a contract.
• Intercut: When used, denotes that the action is moving back
  and forth between two or more scenes or when two people
  are talking on the phone and appear on screen. Also called Phone Intercut.
• Insert: Indicates a close-up on screen without saying it.
  Quick detail.
• Jeopardy: What’s at stake?
• Jumped The Shark: The point in a TV series or movie when the characters or plot veers into the inane. Usually means a show has passed its relevance and has moved away from its original premise and appeal. Origin: When Fonzie “jumped the shark” in a 1977 episode of Happy Days.
• Kill all your darlings: Writerly advice attributed to
  William Faulkner, Quiller-Couch, and Hemingway. Who knows who really said it.
• Leave Behind: One page printed out/emailed, consisting of
  the title of your movie, the logline, a synopsis, and your contact information
• Legs: Longevity, as in, that show has “legs.” Usually used in reference to a TV series.
• Logline: 1-2 sentence description of your movie.  Keep
  to 25-50 words. Writing a great logline is often the hardest part of the screenwriting
  process. Usually includes the protagonist, the primary (visible) goal/central
  conflict, and antagonist.
• Lunch: Let’s take a meeting. Mostly people say, "I have
  a 10AM."
• Manager: Representative that takes 10-15%, manages your
  whole career, and helps find you work. Many are also Producers.
• Material: Refers to the script.
• MacGuffin: Alfred Hitchcock’s term for a plot device that
  motivates the characters or advances the story, but the details are usu. unimportant.
  As he put it, “It is the mechanical
  element that usually crops up in any story. In crook stories it is almost always
  the necklace and in spy stories it is most always the papers.” Examples include,
  the letters of transit in Casablanca, the contents of the briefcase in Pulp
  Fiction, the statue in the Maltese Falcon, etc. It’s what everyone is looking
  for, but the journey is the most important thing.
• Meet Cute (or Meet-Cute): The moment in romantic comedies
  (romcoms), when the two potential romantic partners meet in
  unusual or comic circumstances, often highlighting their differences in personality,
  goals, etc.
• Mentor: Character in the script that helps the hero learn
  something about themselves.  They often die at Plot Point II. Ex. Obi-Wan
  Kenobe in Star Wars.  There are also False Mentors–characters
  who we think are allies, but are really enemies in disguise, working against
  the hero the whole time. Was a**holes. Ex. Emperor Palpatine in Star Wars.
• Midpoint: Usually right in the middle of the film. It’s
  where the protagonist experiences a false victory or defeat, must fully commit
  to the journey, experiences a first kiss, a major reversal, stakes
  are raised, ticking clock kicks in, A and B stories
  cross. The
  most important part of the film from a structural perspective.
• Montage: Like Series of Shot, but incorporates more
  visually, used to show a series of related events.
• M.O.W. (Movie of the Week): Television movie. AKA Made For
  TV Movie.  Not so prevalent on network TV, more on cable outlets like
  HBO.
• Nobody Knows Anything: Quote by William Goldman (Writer,
  Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Princess Bride, etc.)
• Notes: Feedback from an executive, member of your writing
  group, producer, etc. about your script. Can go from general to specific, reasonable
  to downright illogical.
• One Hour: Television show, usu. drama.
• Obstacle: Anything that stands in the way of your hero achieving
  their goal.
• Off Screen (O.S.): Denotes that we hear a character’s dialogue,
  but they are not on camera.
• One Sheet: Two meanings: (1) The movie poster OR (2) one
  page printed out/emailed, consisting of the title of your movie, the logline,
  a synopsis, and your contact information
• OWA (aka Open Writing Assignment): Project
  in search of writers (rewrite, adaptation, or first draft on an existing concept)
  in order to get it into production.
• Option: NOT a sale. This is an exclusive right to a project
  for a specific amount of time (anywhere from a month to a year), sometimes
  involving $, sometimes not.
• OTN (aka On The Nose): When dialogue explains in an obvious
  manner. Heavy-handed.
• Outline: Varies greatly.  Basically, a detailed breakdown
  of all the scenes in your script, before your write it.
• Packaging/Packaged: Process of putting talent, and sometimes
  $ together for a project.
• Pace: The rhythm of the script. Are the scenes hitting at
  the right time. Are your acts too long or too short. It’s more a feeling than
  a technical thing.
• Page One (or Page One Rewrite): Oh crap, my first draft
  sucked so bad that I have to basically start over, as in rewrite from page
  one. 
• Parenthetical: AKA a wryly. Used with dialogue to convey
  a specific action or way of delivering dialogue. Use sparingly.
• Pass: (aka a Pasadena) NO.
• Payoff: Opposite of Set-Up.
• Period Piece: Film or script set in a different time period (aka the past).
• Pipeline: The slate of films scheduled for production.
• Pitch: The verbal telling of your story/script/movie. Can
  vary from 30 seconds to 30 minutes depending on the type of meeting.
• Plants/Planting Seeds: Stuff that will need to be paid off
  later. 
• Plot: The sequence of events in your story. It’s what happens
  from start to finish.
• Plot Points: Moment in script that moves the plot forward
  and spins it in a new direction. The Three Acts are broken out by major plot
  points: Inciting Incident (Catalyst), Plot Point I (Break into
  2), Midpoint, Plot Point 2 (Break into 3), and Climax. Also important
  are the Opening Scene (Opening Image) and Resolution (Closing Image).
• Points: Monies accrued according to a pre-negotiated %,
  if a profit is made. Some producers/directors/stars forego big initial paydays
  for points on the backend, meaning they get paid a crap load after the movie
  brings in a ton of cash at the box office.
• Polish: That last rewrite where you just clean up all little
  errors and make your script perfect. No structural changes. May move some scenes
  around, punch up some dialogue.
• Point Of View (P.O.V.): Shot from the character’s point of view.
• Poster: The actual poster for your movie. Try to visualize
  this when you’re working on your script.
• Premise: The concept of your screenplay. The driving force.
  Related to theme. 
• Prexy:  Shorthand for President (term often used in Variety).
• Print and Advertising (P&A): The marketing costs of a film.
  Is not part of the budget numbers that you hear in the news. 
• Prodco: Production Company.
• Producer: Person with most control on a film. He/she is
  responsible for every aspect of the film production process from start to
  finish, including finding the material, securing fundraising, attaching talent,
  hiring key positions (Director, DP, Costume Designer, etc), and arranging distribution, Includes
  Executive Producer, Producer, Co-Producer, Associate Producer, Assistant
  Producer, Production Director, Line Producer, Production Supervisor, and
  Administrative Producer. In TV a Producer is also a writer on the show.
• Production Assistant (PA): A gopher. Gets coffee, drycleaning,
  car detailed, and even helps out on the actual making of a movie or TV show.
  Hard job, low pay, long hours, no glamour.  Have you hugged your PA today?
• Project: The movie.
• Programmers:  Known as in-betweeners or intermediates.
  A genre film made
  by a studio at a modest budget (which usually means b or c level cast) that
  they use to fill their release schedule. They can’t survive on tentpoles alone,
  so if
  a programmer breaks out, they can do very well for a studio. If they miss,
  they don’t lose much because they can usually make their modest budgets back
  on DVD.
• Protagonist: Main Character. Hero. Person with the problem.
• Purchase Agreement: Contract you sign if someone wants to
  buy your screenplay. Make sure you have an attorney look at these.
• Purple (language): Writing that is overly ornate and flowery.
  Too novelistic.
• Query or Query Letter: A letter a writer sends to a production
  company, agent, or manager in order to gain interest in their work.
• Raise the Stakes: When you create a situation where the
  protagonist has more to lose. Obtaining his goal becomes riskier,
  both physically and emotionally. Often happens at the midpoint, but should
  increase throughout script.
• Reader: Also known as Story Analyst.  They read scripts
  and write coverage.
• Red Herring: Element intended to distract the reader/viewer
  from a more important event in the plot, the real killer, or a twist
  ending.
• Release (aka Submission Release): A legal document that
  must be signed before submitting material for review by a production company
  or other entity. Protects you and them.
• Representation (Repped): Refers to someone who works on
  your behalf to get you work or negotiate agreements. Usually refers to an agent
  of manager. See Ten-Percenter.
• Residuals: Payment made to the writer of a teleplay for
  subsequent showings, screenings, usu. rerun of the work.
• Reversal: An obstacle that sends the protagonist in the
  opposite direction.
• Rewrite: After you’ve put down that shitty first draft,
  it’s time to do the real writing, rewriting. This can be anything from a page
  one (wow this thing is broken–main character sucks, structure is all over
  the place) to a polish (I think my hero will say, "fragrant" instead of
  "smelly.") of the dialogue and descriptions with no major structural changes.
• Rights: Legal permission to adapt source material for a
  screenplay.
• Rings False: Something about a character and/or his/her
  dialogue does not seem consistent. 
• Rising Action: Put your characters through an emotional
  roller coaster across the entire script.
• Rolling Calls: Something assistants have to do.   Basically
  means setting up conference calls for your boss while still being in on the
  meeting AND fielding the incoming calls.
• RomCom: Romantic Comedy.
• Sale: When a script is bought outright. Lovely when it happens,
  no?
• Scale: When a prodco or studio buys your script, this is
  the basic minimum amount they have to pay you according to the WGA. Original
  screenplay for a film that costs more than $5m,
  scale is $80,427.00 (including one more rewrite).  More
  info here.
• Screenplay By: Credit used to denote that you wrote the
  screenplay.
• Scribe: What Variety calls a screenwriter or TV writer.
• Script Guru/Consultant/Doctor: Usually a former Screenwriter/Story
  Analyst/D-Girl/D-Boy who works on an independent basis. Often brought in to
  fix screenplays ("doctor")
  without credit. Often have written a seminal book on screenwriting, teach workshops
  around the world, and help studios with their projects. Include Pilar Alessandra,
  Michael Hauge, David Trottier, Chris Vogler, Blake Snyder, Syd Field, John
  Truby, etc.
• Sequence: Series of related scenes connected by a particular
  problem or storyline.
• Series of Shots: Similar to a Montage, but are mini-scenes
  making up a sequence.
• Set Pieces: The scenes from your movie that will be
  in the trailer.
• Set Up: Act I (according to Syd Field), Pages 1-10
  (according to Blake Snyder). What is the world of your protagonist before he/she
  embarks on the journey.
• Shingle: Small enterprise/business, often set up by an actor or established player at a larger company.
• Single Camera: Usually refers to TV comedies like The Office.
• Shooting Script: After your spec has sold, the prodco or
  studio takes it and adds scene numbers and camera direction.
• Shop: Take the script around to producers to get sold or
  optioned.
• Short List: When you’re a known writer in a particular genre.
  For example, she’s on the short list of horror writers, or he’s on the short
  list of romcom writers. These lists actually exist in hard copy format.
• Showrunner: The boss of a TV show–manager of the day-to-day
  operations, hiring and firing, etc. Often
  refers to someone (a writer) who is the creator/co-creator, producer, executive
  producer on a show. They answer to the network.
• Sitcom: Situation comedy on TV.
• Skein: Slang for TV series.
• Slate: List of films scheduled for production.
• Slip:  As in "slipped your script."
  A representative secretly forwards someone a script before anyone else gets
  to review and/or consider it, or as an unofficial
  submission for co-production, casting, rewrites, etc. Always a secret.
• Slug or Slugline: Text in all CAPS @ beginning
  of scene. Describes location and time of day.
  Example: INT. OFFICE – DAY
• Slush Pile (or Round File): Shitty screenplays end up here.
  It’s the garbage pile.
• Source Material: Original material adapted for the screen.
  Includes short stories, plays, articles, novels, comics/graphic novels, video
  games, etc.
• Spec Script: A “Speculative Script” is written on one’s
  own (not for hire or under contract). It is a way to show the blueprint of
  a movie, sell a movie idea, and sell your screenwriting skills.  According
  to Variety,
  a "spec" is shopped or sold on the open market, as opposed to one
  commissioned by a studio or production company. Usually written by writers
  seeking an option, sale, representation, or attention from a producer.
• Spine: The through line of your story. The A Story.
• Story Analyst: Usually means a reader at a studio.
• Story By:
  Credit can mean outline phase only or credit used when the basic narrative structure
  was originally written with intent to be used for a movie (as opposed to a
  short story) and the actual screenplay had different authors. A shared “story
  by” credit
  is the minimum awarded to the author of an original screenplay.
• Stakes (as in Raise the, or What’s at):
• Subplot: B-story of your script. Usually carries the theme,
  the subconscious goal, the secondary characters, and/or the love story. The
  release valve from the A-story.
• Subtext: The unstated, unspoken, oblique feelings the characters
  are having or implying.  The experts do a great job of expressing the
  unexpressed, making their characters lie through their teeth while we know
  how they feel, and learning about characters through their actions.
• Sword and Sandal: Historical adventure films with swords,
  sandals, chariots, robes, and columns.
• Synopsis: Condensed version of the screenplay
  plot. Usually one page. Includes the main action, major characters, plot points,
  and indicates act structure via separate paragraphs. References to subplot
  are brief or non-existent, unless they directly effect the main story. Written
  in present tense, character’s names written in CAPS the first time they appear
  (just like a screenplay).
• Tagline: A phrase, slogan, or short sentence on the movie
  poster that represents the tone and/or premise of a film. Ex. Alien – "In space
  no one can hear you scream." Ex. The Fly – "Be afraid. Be very
  afraid." Ex. Wayne’s Word – "You’ll laugh. You’ll cry. You’ll hurl."
• Take: For writing, means your version, point of view, or even pitch on a particular concept or idea…as in “What’s your take on this, screenwriter?”
• Talent: Usually refers to actors, even though we’re all
  talented in our own way.
• Teleplay: Script for a TV show. Each show has its own guidelines
  and templates. Dramas usually run around 55-59 pages, while comedies run around
  44 pages. But there are no rules. Check the show you’re writing to see what
  they do.
• Ten-Percenter: A representative who takes 10% of your earnings.
  This usually means an agent or manager. If you have one of each, you’re out
  20%. Don’t forget your lawyer on top of that.
• Tentpole: A blockbuster. Movie that serves as primary support and finances other projects for a company.
• Three Act Structure: Beginning, Middle, and End. According
  to Syd Field, every feature film script is split into Three
  Acts – Act I (Set-up), Act II (Confrontation), Act III (Resolution).  Each
  act contains the major plot points and scenes that make up the script. Act
  I is about 30 pp, Act II is around 60 pp. and Act III is around 30 pp.
  According
  to Blake Snyder, the Three Acts are based on a 110 page script.
  Act I (Thesis) is about 25 pp, Act II (Antithesis) is around 60 pp. and Act
  III (Synthesis) is around 25 pp. See Plot Points for breakdown of three acts.
• Three Camera: Usu. means sitcom TV show.
• Ticking Clock: Usually what happens at the midpoint of the
  script. Your hero is now under the gun to solve the problem before he runs
  out of time. 
• Tip: 10-20% left on top of the bill for your server. Writers are notoriously bad tippers. Don’t be one.
• Title: The movie’s name.
• Trailer: 2-3 minute commercial for a film. Includes
  major set pieces.
• Treatment: Short story version of your screenplay or teleplay.
  Primarily a sales tool. Usu. more detailed than an outline and synopsis, but
  shorter than a step outline.
• Turnaround: When a studio
  develops a project, but decides not to move forward with it, other studios
  can take a crack at making it. If they want to do so, they have to pay all
  the original fees (turnaround costs) to the original studio.
• Twelve Point Courier: The standard and ONLY font used in
  screenplays. Variations: Final Draft Courier, Courier New. That’s it. Don’t
  get creative.
• Two-hander, Three-hander:  A movie with two or three
  leads.
• Tyro: See Baby Writer. Writer who is new to the industry. Usu. not a pejorative term.
• Unsolicited: Sending stuff that has not been requested via
  official channels, ie. repped through agent, producer, manager, lawyer, etc.
• UTA: United
  Talent Agency. They rep Alan Ball, David Chase, Dick Wolf, Harrison Ford, James
  Gandolfini, The Coen Brothers, Johnny Depp, Judd Apatow, Owen Wilson, Rachel
  McAdams, Sarah Michelle Gellar, The Rock, Wes Anderson, and many more.
• Valet Parking: How you park in L.A. Get used to it. Leave
  no valuables in your vehicle. Carry cash for a tip.
• The Valley: The San Fernando Valley. Home of the Adult movie
  biz. Like totally the mythical origin of the like "Valley Girl" accent and
  stuff.
• Voice Over (V.O.): When a character narrates what’s going
  on, thoughts, etc. Like the force, must be used wisely,
• Wheelhouse: A writer’s area of expertise. Can refer to their
  niche, genre, developing characters, writing dialogue, etc.
• Whiff of Death: According to Syd Field, this happen at Plot
  Point 2, according to Blake Snyder, during All Is Lost. Something, someone,
  or an idea dies here.
• Whitespace: The amount of whitespace on the page itself.  Means
  you’ve given the script room to breathe by not overwriting.
• WGA (Writer’s Guild of America): The official union representing working film/tv writers in Hollywood.
• Willam Morris Agency (WMA): World’s largest talent and literary
  agency. Has repped Clark Gable, Judy Garland, Will Rogers, Rita Hayworth, Marilyn
  Monroe, Dick Van Dyke, Bill Cosby, Louis Armstrong, Sammy Davis, Jr., Frank
  Sinatra, Elvis Presley, the Rolling Stones, and the Beach Boys. Currently reps
  Russell Crowe, Catherine Zeta-Jones, John Travolta and Eddie Murphy.
• Wrap:    Completion of production/shooting of
  a movie or TV series.
• Wrylies: Stuff written in parentheticals under the
  character’s dialogue, as in BOB (sarcastically). Should not be overused.  Most
  actors cross them out anyway.  Try to use action to show the same thing.

http://whatshihsaid.com/2013/02/26/ang-lee-a-never-ending-dream/

I found this particular screed against me entertaining. Thank you AnthrFakeFNShow, whomever you are.

I plead complete ignorance in this matter but….. There is NO WAY anyone can be sooooooo [sic] dysfunctional in a kitchen!!!… Come on….. FOUR times you try to cut an onion and EACH and EVERYTIME [sic] you cut it along the same wrong transect???? — AND did not have the grey matter to remember what you did wrong the first threee times???? How the hell he is still in the competition??? And this person is employed?? [sic] As I have been saying …. This is just going to be another over scripted, fake, FN drama. 

I completely agree with Abby, all the contestants conforms [sic] to some stereotypical character. 

Please bring back LDP!!!!!

My response:

I’m posting your response on my blog because it’s hilarious. Also, you really like ALL CAPS and question marks a little too much. It gets in the way of your message of peace and harmony. Love, Aadip

PS – I left in all the weird punctuation and LDP was on a different show, but I’m stoked this person thinks we’re already celebrities a la LDP.

CBS Writers Mentoring Program:
http://diversity.cbscorporation.com/page.php?id=23
Submission Period: March 1, 2013-May 1, 2013

Disney/ABC Television Writing Program:
http://www.abctalentdevelopment.com/programs/programs_writings_fellowship.html
Submission Period: Spring (TBA)

Fox Writer’s Intensive (FWI):
http://www.fox.com/audiencestrategy/foxwritersintensive/
Submission Period: November? (TBA)

National Latino Media Council/National Hispanic Media Coalition Television Writers Program:
http://www.nhmc.org/writersprogram
Submission Period: Summer (TBA)

NBC Writers On The Verge:
http://www.nbcunicareers.com/earlycareerprograms/writersontheverge.shtml
Submission Period: May 1, 2013-May 31, 2013 (3pm PST deadline)

Nickelodeon Writing Program:
http://www.nickwriting.com/important-dates/
Submission Period: January 2, 2013-February 28, 2013

Warner Brothers Writers’ Workshop:
http://writersworkshop.warnerbros.com/apply-now/
Submission Period: May 1, 2013-June 1, 2013

aka The Grove Santa Claus and Celebrity Behavior

NOTE: This is a total fluff piece and in light of the events in Newtown, Connecticut, I hope this piece is a silly distraction from a heart wrenching few weeks.

This is our first time celebrating Christmas in Los Angeles since moving here almost four years ago; we usually head to my mom’s in Sacramento. No snow, but a little rain, sunshine, crisp nights, a sea of UGG Boots, mini-skirts, scarves, and Range Rovers. Ah, the holiday season is upon us. This being our first “Jesus’ Birthday Observed” with our five-month-old daughter, Ruby, we are psyched to take her to see Santa Claus. She celebrated her Indian side with her grandma during Diwali, the Hindu Celebration of Lights, watching Daddy eat sweets while she received new onesies. Now, she gets to celebrate her Caucasian side’s winter holiday.  Even though her mom is not really a Christian, her grandparents definitely are…Christmas Eve Lutheran church service and everything. For me, it’s more a celebration of consumerism, mythical hirsute figures with magical transportation, and gorging on gout-inducing meals…and yet, before my dad canceled Christmas in the ‘90s, I loved it.

We decide to take Ruby to The Grove, because we had heard that it has the best Santa around, and it’s the most Hollywood place to sit on a diabetic, bearded white guy’s lap and issue requests for superfluous products. For the uninitiated, The Grove is a high end shopping and entertainment complex or mall, buttressed up against The Farmer’s Market, inhabiting a large area between W 3rd and Beverly, Fairfax and The Grove Drive. They shoot Mario Lopez’ spots for EXTRA and the Barnes and Noble has book signings for book releases from legitimate authors and memoirs written by celebrities and/or their ghostwriters. The Grove has a 100-foot tall Christmas tree and a trolley with an excellent all-girl brass quartet playing jazzy carols. This is something I envision for Ruby when she’s older, an extension of my own Christmas-related activities as a young musician. The real draw of this place, year-round, is stellar people watching, which explains the plethora of tourist coaches. Some shoppers try really hard to be mistaken for a celebrity by wearing sunglasses and riding boots, while actual celebrities try not to be recognized coming out of the American Girl store (I’m told I will be forced to come here often and that since my baby is bi-racial, none of the other stores’ dolls will look like her. Oh boy. So not ready.)

Our first attempt to visit Santa Claus is a bust. We pop down with Laura’s parents, who are in town from rural Washington State. We retrieve the progeny, dressed in her best new outfit, from her unyielding car seat and transport her to Santa’s Cottage. We are met by a very long procession of harried parents and sugar-addled (or agave-addled, it’s LA, right?) children. The elves, dressed in their Sunday couture and not anything remotely Elvin, instruct us to take a number.  We get number 82. The Clause-counter reads 954. Only 46 more until the clock turns over to zero plus 81, which equals 127 kids to go. At approximately three minutes per kid, that’s 381 minutes, which means 6.35 hours. We’re assured that it will only take a couple, but even with 50% attrition, that’s still over three hours of waiting. Then we hear the same Elf tell somebody else that it’ll be three hours. We’ll show the grandparents around, have some vegan lunch at The Veggie Grill, and check back.  We return after 90 minutes and find out that the line has moved three spots to 957. WTF. No Santa for Ruby. My father-in-law is incredulous. He hates Los Angeles and this proves that he might be right about some things here, especially the long lines for bullshit. We bail, but pledge to return.

We return on the Thursday morning before X-mas after a trip to Home Depot where we acquired a $29, four-foot tall artificial tree for our small apartment. Although we need ornaments and stockings, we make a beeline for Santa’s Cottage. We are not missing Santa! The line is very long, again.  We wait for the Burberry-clad Elf to give us our ticket so we can begin to officially wait in line for Santa. During the hour it takes to get our number, I leave Laura and Ruby in line so I can do some stocking recon, along with some other dads.  The only stores with stockings are Anthropology ($50 a piece) and Pottery Barn Kids, which has the most grotesque stockings you’ve ever seen, including a reindeer who appears to have been in a hunting accident and angels that look more like gargoyles than cherubim and seraphim. We get number 15. Score. He tells us to come back in an hour and a few minutes when our number should be up.  The numbers are for when you are allowed to enter the “short line” behind the red velvet ropes.  We head to Costplus World Market and sort through the eclectic assortment of ornaments who, for better or worse, were too tacky for anyone else to buy.  Choice ornaments include an orange popsicle, a basset hound on a sled, a high heel shoe, a flamingo, and an owl, because OWLS are really hot right now.

I grab coffee while Laura breastfeeds Ruby under the Farmer’s Market Christmas Tree.  We return an hour later, as instructed. The Burberry Elf notifies us that Santa is on a break. We’re confused why he needs a break when he just started, but he must be in the Santa Union or something.  This better be an amazing freaking Santa. They’re up to number 25. We missed our window, but luckily they Santaclaused (similar to grandfathering) us in. The moms and grandmothers comment on Ruby’s giant cheeks and good behavior. It can’t take that long at this point. While taking in the good X-Mas vibes, SoCal style, I notice that we’re standing ten feet behind a 40-something-year-old rocker with a shaved head, a long gray goatee, and tattooed fingers. He’s with his svelte blonde wife and their ginger son with a green vest similar to my dog’s. I know this guy. I had a poster of him on my wall growing up.  I’m thrown a bit because he normally has a bright red or black-dyed goatee. I check my phone and verify that yes, it’s Scott Ian (Rosenfeld). Who? He’s the Yankees, Battlestar Galactica, DC Comics, and The Walking Dead-loving guitarist for the thrash metal gods, ANTHRAX….my favorite metal band of all time. I’m freaking out. I keep saying to Laura, “Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God, that’s Scott Ian from Anthrax and his wife Pearl Aday, Meatloaf’s [adopted] daughter, which means that’s Revel, who is Meatloaf’s Grandson.” Scott has a Motörhead iPhone case. Yep, it’s him. At this point I could give a rat’s ass about Santa. Selfish Dad. I know in my heart that it is fate that we didn’t get to see Santa last time, because my Christmas present is meeting Scott Ian. Unfortunately, his patience and the patience of others is dwindling. We’ve put in over several hours and the line has not moved. The family directly in front of us leaves; the young boy doesn’t want to see Santa without his big brother. Awww.

We’re now beyond the velvet rope to the on-deck waiting area on the red carpet. I look plaintively at the screen. The numbers have not changed. I’m concerned for the children out in the chilly temps, all of whom are about to take the express train to Meltdown City.  Pearl volunteers, “Just so you know, they let a celebrity cut ahead of everyone in line.” Celebrity favoritism extends to Santa’s Cottage? Say it ain’t so.  My mind can’t really compute this in light of the folks I’m standing next to in line. Who could be bigger than Scott Ian and company? Pearl says, “Just in case you wanna tweet this out, it’s Tori Spelling.” Lucky for her nobody else saw, because that would have caused a giant scene that The Grove would not have wanted. Other parents wish ill will on Tori and Dean’s reality show, while several parents hope their child defecates on Santa. Pearl says, “I would never do that to the children. It’s selfish.” I reply, “Yeah, and you totally could.” Pearl’s biological dad was the drummer for Janis Joplin’s band. She knows that I know who she is, but she remains warm and unconcerned. Why would a wealthy celebrity use The Grove as her own personal Santa concierge service for her four kids, while also cutting in front of regular folks? It’s unclear whether she insisted or The Grove staff did, so I won’t assume that she’s all bad or that oblivious. It’d be better if they hired their own Santa to come to the house, but if they don’t want to ruin the mystique of Santa, they should just wait in line like everybody else. Another mom politely pings the Burberry Elf. “I’m having a really hard time explaining to my daughter why it’s fair for someone else without a ticket to not have to wait in line and why she had to patiently wait her turn, but then had to wait longer.” This is an extremely fair point. He replied, “I’m sorry, sometimes we have to do that.” Clearly, it’s above his pay grade. Maybe we should ask Santa when we get in there, but who wants to pick a fight with Santa? Not even me. I’m gonna take the high road like everybody else in line and just grin and bear it. There’s no question that while in this holding pattern we’ve met wonderful people who just want to bring a bit of happiness to their kids’ lives by creating a lasting memory. Waiting in line is a small price to pay for that, especially considering the events at Sandy Hook where so many six and seven year olds lost their lives.

At this point, Tori Spelling and her brood have caused a 100-kid pileup on the Santa Clause Expressway and I vow never to again chant, “Let Donna Martin graduate.” I now want to chat, “Let Ruby see Santa.”  Scott Ian temporarily pulls his son out of the line to wind him down, because he’s not gonna last another ten minutes, and neither is Ruby for that matter.  She’s on the verge of a pee, eat, poop, cry, and sleep cycle. I figure, oh crap, they’re gonna bail and this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, so I sneak past Pearl as she takes her turn with Revel and tap Scott on the shoulder and whisper, “Excuse me, are you Scott Ian, from Anthrax?” He turns, Motörhead cell phone in hand and mid-tweet, “Yeah.” The man is out of patience. I better make it quick. “I’m a huge fan of yours. The first CD I ever bought was State of Euphoria.” Scott Ian replies, “Thanks, man.” That’s it. That’s all I get, but I’m not going to out him as a celebrity. The lookie-loos will take his photo and figure out who he is later, and I’m not gonna ruin what is already a testy affair. I figured out later that he tweeted the following:” Hey mommy of 4 @torianddean, you’re OK w/cutting in front of a line of children who’d been waiting to see Santa for over an hour?#asshole”. Tori Spelling & family cut the Santa line at the Grove and stay in there taking endless pics for as long as they want leaving 30 people…with their kids having fits for 30 minutes. Tori Spelling you are a piece of holiday shit. I hope @the_ironsheik does you old school way.” In wussy contrast, I tweet out, “Fuck Tori Spelling. Jumps the line for Santa at The Grove, causing serious kidlet meltdowns. Way way bigger celebs in line not doing that.”

Laura didn’t realize (until reading this) that I actually talked to him. She explained that he was just a concerned dad who had been there for hours and his kid was unhappy because somebody jumped the line. I explained that I have a lot in common with him and that we should be buddies. She hates when I’m talk like this, like Joe Flaherty’s character from Happy Gilmore. I was five seconds from asking him to go to Veggie Grill (not Red Lobster) with us. It only happens a few times a year, but the important thing is that I talked to him. Usually I clam up, wet my pants, and kill myself for not talking to one of my heroes. Other people on this list include: Danny Boyle, Tracey Ullman, and Stevie Wonder (he had huge bodyguards). I’ve officially broken the cycle, “but that’s not important right now.”

The seething outrage builds collectively among the parents. Knowing this is untenable; families behind us leave the line. Finally, after 30 minutes, the line moves. We all emit sighs of relief, but we know that most of our kids’ photos will be of an inconsolable child with Santa. I’m fine with that for the sake of comedy. Scott and family finally get their picture taken. We get in there ten minutes later. Ruby had a full diaper, but hadn’t noticed so we bough some time.  She is surprisingly at ease around The Grove Santa, who is Amazing (capital A). Out of the approximately 2,200 mall Santa’s in the country, I swear he might be the real deal. Beard is legit; mustache is a toss up. His ebullient Helper Elf Maiden is sweet and sugary and introduces Ruby to Santa as if it it’s the most normal thing in the world. She has the four sided sleigh bells (I only have the poor man’s two-sided version) and a compact Canon DSLR mounted on the side of a counter, connected to a computer. You’d think this was a photo shoot for Vogue. I explain to Santa that Ruby just got on “the list.” No response. You know, she was just born and I thought, oh well, never mind. Santa instructs us on where to sit, how to hold Ruby, and the best angles for the photos. We’re pleased with his sleigh-side manner.  Laura tells Santa that Ruby wants “the gift of sleep” for Christmas.  Santa sweetly remarks, “I bet Mom and Dad would like that, too.”  We get our picture with Santa and Ruby, my shirt and posture creating an additional beer gut that doesn’t exist. I swear. I hadn’t showered that day either, so I’m a grubby mcgrubberson. Didn’t know I was gonna be in a photo. Ruby looks intensely adorable, which is her thing, and we get some QT with SC. We opt for one 5” X 7” print and the rest of the photos on a flash drive for $35. Not bad, even for LA.  At least 5% of purchases will go directly to the Make-A-Wish Foundation. For Ruby’s first X-Mas with Santa, it is totally worth the traffic, parking, multiple lines, and the battling celebrities. He is an A+ Kris Kringle, not a crappy mall Santa. Since we have the digital images, I can Photoshop out my gut and take my face sheen down a couple levels.  Laura requests similar treatment.

Loaded down with tacky ornaments, a sweet memory for Ruby, and an encounter with rock royalty (which was enabled by Tori jamming up the line), we head over to Sur La Table so I can pick out my Christmas gift (this is how you shop for picky Virgos). Multiple employees note how Ruby is the best behaved child they’ve seen all week. I accept the compliments, knowing full well that Laura is the reason why our baby is so well behaved. I just get her all jacked up by playing with her, doing silly voices, and talking to her like Tom Waits (which she loves).  We head home to decorate our tree while Ruby takes an uncharacteristic nap. All in all, I don’t mind this being one of our holiday traditions, ‘cause that Santa rocks. Hopefully next year I can use my celebrity to cut in line. Just kidding. I’ll wait my turn, just like Meatloaf’s daughter and Scott freaking Ian.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year from The Desais.

I’m off on a top secret mission.

When I return this website will be full of content.

I’ve been using twitter and facebeook and tumblr and pinterest and all that jazz, but I wanted it all to have a home again in one place. Plus, I don’t like the character limitations when I want to go on and on. Finally, some folks on Facebook are overly sensitive about political posts. Ok, it’s the Republicans and Libertarians who argue about everything despite facts and stuff.

So here it is. Out of full disclosure, I bought this WP theme because I don’t have time to design a site from scratch anymore, but I’m gonna tweak this sucker until it’s my own.

• The Brood: Cronenberg. Very dated, but cool. It has one of the most disturbing scenes of any movie in it–at the climax. Very f-ed up.
• Teeth: Vagina Dentata. Yep, that’s pretty much it.
• Hulk: Pretty cool. Live Tyler was wispy as usual. Graphics were killer, except I wanted to see a more bird’s eye view. A little close to the action for my taste. Questionable setting this ultra-violent scene on a college campus, where almost none of the students react to gunfire and bombs.
• Helvetica: My favorite font. Fun documentary for font dorks.
• Jumper: Good premise, cool-ass graphics. Plot falls apart and gets boring.
• Rambo: Quite possibly the most graphic violence I’ve seen in a long time. Just brutal.
• Heavy Meal in Baghdad: What happens when your practice space gets bombed? These guys show us.
• Cape Fear: Robert DeNiro scared the crap out of me, again.
• Being Julia: Annette Benning is stellar in this. She’s still h-o-t. I loved Jeremy Irons in this.
• The Kingdom: Peter Berg rocked this. A little shakey sometimes (handicam), but good performances, story, characters, etc. Nicely done!
• Waitress: Nice little film. My kind of movie. Firefly meets Felicity…not really. Sad to see Adrienne Shelly in it (she was murdered). She was such a promising writer, director, and actress. Everyone should see this.
• Sunshine: Mommy, where did the plot go? Pretty cool CG, but the whole thing falls apart around the midpoint. Still watchable due to the actors.
• Jurassic Park III: Craptastic. Who cares.  Dinosaurs are cool, but Tea Leoni and William H. Macy acting badly is not.
• Jersey Girl: Not as bad as everyone said. Worth rewatching. A sweet movie with good acting and George Carlin, Stephen Root, etc. Minimal interference by J-Lo.