I am the Liam Neesons of stolen bikes.

I am the Liam Neesons of stolen bikes. "I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my bike go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue ...

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Dear New Upstairs Neighbor Who Hates Us

Dear New Upstairs Neighbor Who Hates Us, You know what doesn't get a baby to stop crying? Pounding on the floor. If you were cool, I'd care, but since you're not, suck it up like a big boy. Warmest, The Jerks Downstairs With The Baby P.S. Your lovemaking "sessions" are brief and uneventful. If you need tips, ask the dude with the crying baby.

I rewrote the lyrics to Blurred Lines

Blurred Lines, the ubiquitous summer hit performed by Robin Thicke featuring TI and Pharrell Williams has been saddled (rightly so) with a variety of controversy. From the rapey lyrical content to the stolen musical content (Robin Thicke preemptively suing the estate of Marvin Gaye?), the ickiness (Robin Thicke himself), and the Miley twerking (the least of our worries as a nation), I took a stab at rewriting the lyrics in ...

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St. Patrick’s Day Music Courtesy of Pint O’ Guinness

St. Patrick's Day Music Courtesy of Pint O' Guinness, my old Celtic punk band. We were rockin' it from 1995 until 1999. I played drums, trumpet, and guitar. Enjoy! Extra Stout: 01 Dicey Reilly_All For Me Grog_Blackberry Blossom 02 Reasons Why 03 Finnegan's Wake 04 Whiskey In The Jar 05 Porcupine 06 Wastin' Time 07 Wild Rover Final Trax (Unreleased): 01 Indian Earholes Are Smaller (IEHAS) 02 Whiskey Watered Down 03 MacClarty 04 Waxie Dargle 05 The Train 06 Indian Earholes Are Smaller (...

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Ruby’s Playlist of the Day

Today Ruby and I spent some time listening to music, well watching some tunes on YouTube. Here's what we covered: In The Hall Of The Mountain King by Edvard Grieg She goes bananas for this song. Hopefully, I'll get some video going of her eating while listening to this. Paul Barton: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7zcS8yr33Q Deutsches Filmorchester Babelsberg: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=...

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Hollywood Glossary Of Terms

Here's a glossary I've written in an attempt to help get your head around the terminology often used in screenwriting, TV writing, and the film industry writ large. It is by no means comprehensive, and there is much debate about what some of the terms may mean. But, it's a start. Enjoy. Above The Line: Expenditures/costs negotiated/spent before filming begins, including source material rights (for adaptations) and salaries ...

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Don’t Stop Dreaming

Creative folks, if you are contemplating giving up on your dream, please read this essay Ang Lee wrote post-Brokeback Mountain. It's just what I needed and felt very familiar (Asian pressure to be something respectable, young dad, money is tight). He was lucky enough to have a supportive partner, and even if you don't have one consider us all your emotional patrons. http://whatshihsaid.com/2013/02/26/ang-lee-a-never-ending-dream/

Worst Cooks Backlash

Hey, if you put yourself out there you have to be ready for the internet trolls to come lumbering after you. I found this particular screed against me entertaining. Thank you AnthrFakeFNShow, whomever you are. I plead complete ignorance in this matter but..... There is NO WAY anyone can be sooooooo [sic] dysfunctional in a kitchen!!!... Come on..... FOUR times you try to cut an onion and EACH and EVERYTIME [...

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2013 TV Writing Fellowships Deadlines

2013 TV Writing Fellowships/Programs: CBS Writers Mentoring Program: http://diversity.cbscorporation.com/page.php?id=23 Submission Period: March 1, 2013-May 1, 2013 Disney/ABC Television Writing Program: http://www.abctalentdevelopment.com/programs/programs_writings_fellowship.html Submission Period: Spring (TBA) Fox Writer's Intensive (FWI): http://www.fox.com/audiencestrategy/foxwritersintensive/ Submission Period: November? (TBA) National Latino Media Council/National Hispanic Media Coalition Television Writers Program: http://www.nhmc.org/writersprogram Submission Period: Summer (...

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